Exposed: An Anthology Read online

  I have priorities. Emma is my main concern, even though being in a famous band while touring the world has been a dream of mine and Seth’s since we were kids. That dream has since fizzled away on my part. Now on the other hand, that’s all Seth wants out of life. I’m not quite sure how my brother feels about the fact that I won’t be hanging around once our band hits it big. I’m sure he knows, but damn I hope if that day ever comes it doesn’t cause a rift in our relationship like it did when I took off to college.

  I can only hope I’d still be able to take part in the creative process of it all; the behind the scenes aspect of the band. I want the part that wouldn’t require me to live off of a tour bus for months at a time. The writing and recording aspects that is, watching your idea come together by blending impressive melodies with fresh new lyrics is such an amazing sensation. Almost as mesmerizing as being on stage, watching the crowd dance and sing every damn lyric to the songs you wrote. I actually wrote a few of our songs myself. That was during a painful time in my life.

  If I hadn’t had music as my avenue to release all the pent up feelings I was trying to bury, my life would have went further to hell then what I already thought it was.

  Well hell, I can’t think about the what if’s in life. They can just hire a fill in drummer for when they go on tour. But the truth of the matter is, being a famous drummer was my dream before Emma was even a thought. She’s my life now, has been for the last six years. I’m all she has, there’s no possible way I could ever leave her or would ever want to.

  I find Seth with the rest of the band going over the set list. I listen in on the song change he decided to throw in. It doesn’t bother me since I get tired of playing the same shit over and over anyways; I’m always up for a change. The rest of the guys might not agree, but it is what it is. Lead singer means Captain of the Band. Ah hoy mate! Man, my brain is all whacked out.

  Seth finishes and walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Dude, what’s up with that shit eating grin that’s plastered all over your face? You look like a little girl that just got asked to prom.”

  I push his hand off my shoulder. “Shut the hell up man,” I say with a smile. “You know I’m always hyped when we have a big gig.”

  “Uh huh,” Seth says while giving me a grin. “Maybe hyped like you can’t keep the hell still, like you’re ready to beat the shit outta some drums.” He nudges my shoulder. “Not looking all cheesy like you just got a blow job out in the parking lot.” Seth pauses and looks at me. “Holy shit, you finally got your ass laid, huh? Who’s the lucky chick?” He begs me with his bottom lip sticking out like a school girl.

  “Even though that’d be fucking nice bro, I don’t have to get laid to be smiling, but I did meet someone today,” I say smiling.

  “Aw shit, I knew it. You’re so getting laid after the show. It’s already in the bag. That would put a big ass grin on my face too, if I already had some grade A mapped out for the night. Hell, who am I kidding? It’s always a guarantee I’ll be getting some. I am in the band. Hell-o,” he says while punching my arm and winking.

  Seth and I really look nothing alike. I’m a lot taller, definitely more filled out than he is. He has more of the whole rocker look going on. You know the type—fitted pants and shirts, tattoos scattered around his upper torso, back and arms, a couple piercings including his ears being gauged. His hair is longer than mine. Not sure what you’d even call it besides untamed rocker hair.

  Yep, pretty typical.

  Now I on the other hand, am the complete opposite. Some of the band mates call me pretty boy, who I am not, but I just like to keep it simple. I usually wear loose jeans, so my legs and crotch can breathe and some random fitted t-shirt or wife beater which shows off a few of my tattoos. I usually style my hair into a faux hawk or the messy bed head look, which the females seem to like. Plus it helps me pull off the rocker vibe a little better.

  I tell Seth very little about Jesika, meaning I don’t indulge in all the details of how I know her or had formed a distanced crush on her. I just give him bits and pieces of our encounter.

  “Derek,” Seth starts, “I have to say that even though your grin isn’t because you’re getting in balls deep after the show, I am happy for you. I haven’t seen you actually happy over a chick in a very long time.” He claps my shoulder and then continues, “Maybe you’ll get inspired to write us some more upbeat positive songs, instead of the sad sappy ones you have written for us.” He gives me a sympathetic nod.

  I cock my head to the side and stare at him. “Don’t start dissing my shit just because people request it more than what you’ve come up with, asshole.”

  We get into a little brotherly punch fest when our bassist Connor comes up. “Hey we’re up. You douche bags ready?”

  “Yeah, let’s do this.” I say and we follow him and the rest of the band mates to the back of the stage.

  Chapter Three

  Jesika

  When I arrive back home, I find Mallory sitting on the couch, skimming through a Cosmo Magazine with her feet up on my coffee table. She was always looking up new sex positions to try out, as if she really needed cliff notes. I know damn well she can bring any man to his knees, literally. Then they still beg for more, all night long.

  “Hey Jes,” Mallory greets me, not looking up from the magazine. “How’d it go at the school?”

  I let out a big sigh and turn to her. “Oh, besides me almost losing it in front of a class full of six year olds? Flipping fantastic,” I finish with a slam of my purse on the counter. Mallory raises her brows at me and tosses the magazine to the side to give me her full attention.

  I tell her everything about what happened, from the gorgeous firefighter strolling in, to me running out of the room and the hot firefighter coming to the rescue to make sure I was alright. How genuinely concerned he felt towards me; everything about him was perfect. It felt like it was too good to be true.

  “You kind of like Mr. Fire Scorching Hottie don’t cha?” Mallory wiggles her brows up and down and I chuckle. She is always trying to ease the tension I may be feeling.

  “I don’t want to,” I admit, “It’s too soon to even remotely be interested in someone. There was just something about him though, he had this calming effect on me,” I pause and try to gather my thoughts to explain this feeling that I felt towards him.

  “He completely took away all the sadness I was feeling, just by being himself.” I meet Mallory’s eyes and continue, “And as crazy as it sounds, for it being the first time we’ve met, I was completely comfortable with him.” Mallory grabs my hand in a reassuring way, and I gaze down at our conjoined fingers.

  “Jesika, don’t you think that’s a sign? The fact that you felt so at ease with him, especially since you’ve sheltered yourself from the opposite sex for the last year. I’m not saying you should rush into anything by any means. All I’m saying is don’t shut him out. I think you should at least get to know him. Some people stumble into our lives for a reason, so just think about it, okay?” I nod. I can always count on Mallory to put things into perspective for me.

  As I shower, I put a lot of thought into my encounter with Derek today, and the comfortable familiarity I felt being around him. I also thought about what Mallory had said. Do I need to quit shutting people out? Am I shutting people out? If I have, I don’t even notice I’m doing it. I know I’m not ready for any type of serious relationship or anything of the sorts, but making new friends can only be more beneficial on my part.

  I go ahead and straighten my hair again, but instead of doing my makeup myself I ask Mallory to help me. By the time she is done, I look simply amazing. She didn’t do anything too drastic. She made my green eyes pop ten times their normal ability with a mixture of glittery creams and browns.

  The last time I went to my stylist, I had her cut my auburn hair and add a few peek-a-boo blondes in it. So now that I was actually fixing my hair again, I realize I really love having the blonde in my hair.


  Mallory is already dressed and waiting on me to finish up. She looks gorgeous in her mini jean skirt, a black long sleeved shirt with a deep v-neckline that accentuates her boobs perfectly and of course she is wearing some rocking red heels. I could never pull that look off. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to walk around all night in those damned heels either. My feet would fall off in the first hour of standing!

  Since I’m not man hunting I keep it simple. I dress in my dark skinny jeans, a long sleeved fitted green shirt with a rounded embellished neckline and my black heeled boots that fit nicely over my jeans.

  When we arrive, I decide against carrying around my black leather jacket I had brought. I won’t have a chance to get cold once we are tucked in right in front of the stage. Tonight is all about me living a little and letting go of some of the feelings that have been keeping me from getting on with my life. Truth is I just really need a break.

  Everything reminds me of Jake at home, hell, even being at The Rifters concert tonight, I can feel some sadness start to creep in. The last concert I had gone to was The Rifters and I was with Jake. Mallory notices me slowing my stride and turns to me, her hand holding mine.

  “Jesika, you need this,” she says as she looks deep into my eyes. “This is your favorite band; you have to keep going. Jake would want that, he would want you to be happy and move on honey,” her blue eyes pleading with mine. “Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting about him, but if you want to leave, we can go. We can just stop at the store and pick up some ice cream and have a girls’ night in.”

  No, I wasn’t going to stop. I shake my head and slowly put a smile on my face. “You’re right. Jake wouldn’t want me being depressed all the time and being a hermit. He would want me to continue doing the things I love, even if he is no longer here to do them with me.” I reassure her.

  Even though, it’s so damn hard.

  She lets go of my hand and we link arms together. I half expect her to start skipping and singing ‘we’re off to see the wizard’ in those six inch heels while dragging me along.

  The music starts getting louder, flowing deeper and deeper through my mind as we start approaching the back of the crowd. I’m pretty sure that concerts should be a form of therapy because as of now all I can think about is getting us as close as possible to the stage and letting the music move like a wave through me, saturating every fiber of my body while standing next to the blaring speakers.

  It’s my turn to do the dragging as I pull Mallory through the mass crowd of people. I call out an occasional ‘Sorry, excuse me, coming through’ to get us to the stage without getting elbowed or glared at. As always, the guys are more than accommodating, allowing us to pass but not to say they didn’t try pressing as close as possible as we passed by or grabbing our asses. I was a woman on a mission, it didn’t faze me. It was time for me to let my guard down.

  We weren’t front and center, but more off to the left of the lead singer; the perfect place to feel the musical vibrations pumping through the speakers. It is intoxicating. Mallory yells something at me, but I didn’t care to ask her to repeat herself. I close my eyes and let my body sync with the drums; my hips sway with the bass of the drum and occasionally I tap my hand on my thigh to the snare and tom. At times I toss my head from side to side, whipping my hair across my face.

  Saying I have an infatuation with drummers would be an understatement. I’m kind of obsessed with them. I let the music take my mind and body to what feels like a journey around the world. I don’t even know how many songs have passed by because they were flowing so rhythmically from one to another. I just continue on dancing, keeping up with the beat of the drums. I feel them pound away, which makes my heart skip some beats. The strong tempo takes away all my thoughts from earlier, about almost everything I was so worried about. I want to be my old self again.

  Mallory yanks hard on my arm and makes me face her. I’m snapped out of my dazed world as my eyes snap open to glare at her.

  “Hello! Earth to Jesika!” she yells in my ear. “Do you not see that smoking hot ass guy staring at you?” I start turning around looking everywhere, but everyone looks in tune with the music, just like I was thirty seconds ago.

  I turn back and yell in her ear, “No Mallory, I don’t see anyone staring at me.” She looks at me with a complete irritated look on her face.

  “Well, I don’t expect you to find him when you’re looking everywhere else but where he is,” she nods towards the booming stage. Why would I ever think to look at the band?

  Half annoyed, I quickly scan each band member. I do a double take and look again at the drummer. Piercing blue eyes stare back at me. I’ve seen those eyes. You’ve got to be shitting me. Derek.

  Derek is The Rifters freaking drummer? I start feeling incredibly hot, cramped and overwhelmed. If I thought he looked sexy earlier today, it just increased by like seventy seven percent. Not sure how that’s even possible, but the thought of me climbing up on that stage and stripping him down quickly flashes through my mind. I grab Mallory’s hand and yell, “I need a drink.” I’m not much of a drinker, but right now I’m in need of one.

  There is no possible way I can clear my mind now, especially knowing it was his perfected tempo drumming away that made me lose myself in the crowd, stripping me of all my thoughts and feelings, filling me with his sweet bass beats. In my mind, I start to wonder how his arms would feel wrapped around my waist, his smooth lips against mine, tenderly kissing my cheek and moving down to the pulse in my neck. Just the thought sends shivers up and down my spine. That’s when Mallory breaks the thoughts that are entering my mind.

  “So, what’d ya think about sexy drummer boy?” Looking at me with the biggest grin and wagging her brows at me, I laugh at her gesture as well as how giddy I feel by this new interesting tidbit of information.

  “You’re right about him being a damn fine drummer. But you know what else?”

  “What?” she asks, her eyes begging me to clue her in.

  “He’s also a damn fine firefighter.” I smirk. She looks at me with a confused look, and then I see the light bulb flash in her eyes.

  “You mean to tell me that is Mr. Hunk-A-Hunk of Burning Love you met at the school today?” I start laughing at the new nickname she created for him.

  “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. And right now, I’m feeling in need of the firefighter part of him because he just freaking lit my body on fire with his damn orgasmic drumming.”

  Mallory’s blue eyes bulge at my words as she peers past my shoulder. With a devious smile on her face, I know I have just been caught by the inevitable.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  She glances back and clears her throat to get my attention, knowing damn well my cheeks should be blistered by how freaking hot they’re feeling. Seeing that I can’t take back what I stupidly said out loud, I realize it is now time to face the music.

  Ha, more like the gorgeous man behind the music.

  I slowly turn around to face whoever it is that has captured Mallory’s eyes, like I don’t already know. There’s two ways I can play this game. One, I can play the sweet, innocent, shy, embarrassed act. Or two, I can just play it cool, calm, collected, and try to turn it around to my benefit. The exact same way guys turn a situation into their favor. The typical Jesika would cower away under the pressure. She would be all shy, and Miss Prim and Proper. So, instead of giving into the strong urge of how I’d typically handle a situation such as this, which would be to run and hide with my tail between my legs, I live a little.

  Tonight, I’m feeling a little bit feisty and daring. Since I’ve decided to let loose and find myself again, I will go for it. But before I’m able to fully turn around, my mind is struck by a now familiar voice. A clearly amused voice at that. Twisting my body around to face the origin of the sexy voice that I’m starting to hope will become a daily fixture in my life, I’m met with the most gorgeous smile. The same one I was blessed with earlier today.

  “Did someone call for
a firefighter?”

  I force the biggest smile I can conjure up. I’m going with option number two, playing it as cool as can be.

  “Oh, hey Derek.” I playfully nudge his arm in greeting. “Sure wasn’t expecting to run into you again so soon. Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were The Rifters drummer?” His smile extends and I notice that perfect dimple of his again.

  He’s unable to contain the laugh he’s been holding back. “Well hell Jesika, if you wouldn’t have ran off on me earlier today maybe I would have had the chance. Damn, if I would have known you thought my drumming was orgasmic and you’d need some assistance cooling down, I would have chased after you and told ya.” He gives me a wink, “Shit, I would have offered you your own private show.”

  Okay, it’s official. This guy has to be the total package. Or pretty damn close. He must have some major skeletons in his closet. There’s no way any guy can seem this perfect.

  “Derek, I hate to burst your cocky little drummer boy bubble, but I, umm, clearly said that your drumming was organic. You know, totally original,” I turn around and look at Mallory for confirmation.

  I snap at her, “Mallory?”

  “Yep that’s exactly what she said, or-gan-ic.” Mallory agrees rolling her eyes and then adds snapping her fingers, “You know, like the vegetables? Does a body good.”

  Oh god. This isn’t a freaking milk commercial.

  I turn around in a huff to grab my drink and give Mallory a ‘thanks A LOT bi-otch’ glare. I can feel Derek step closer to me.

  “That’s a good one Jesika,” he says as he pats my shoulder. I can now feel his body almost pressed against the side of mine and his hot breath near my ear. He whispers, “I’m flattered you think my drumming is or-gas-mic.” He drags the word orgasmic out and instantly chills run through my body as my previous thoughts of him wrapping his strong arms around me and giving me small kisses on my neck run through my mind. I suddenly have an ache between my thighs. Something I haven’t felt for a while. Something I haven’t felt in a good year.